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Ten Sexiest Women of Television

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Several months ago, I wrote a feature showcasing the sexiest women in film. It was a piece that generated much praise, an array of curse words that were new to me, but more than anything, it triggered an outpouring of fierce debate over who made the list, who didn’t and whose legs out sexed who. I promised I’d return to highlight the stunning ladies of music and television when the time was right, so today I park myself on the sofa, flipper in hand, to give the scintillating beauties of the small screen their just due. So before we get to the list that sparks girlfriends into a jealous rage, its time to lay the ground rules and highlight the criteria used for selecting this esteemed field. First, the actress must be currently on the active roster for their respective series. That’s why you don’t have no-brainers of the past like Jessica Alba, Elisha Cuthbert or Jennifer Aniston poking up here. TV may have been the thing that lit their career, but they’ve decided to test their swimming skills in the shark tank. Next, sexy encompasses everything from acting skills (sorry Pamela) and character presence to career prospects and how close they come to overheating your television set. Whether they cavort around in lingerie seducing their male lead or leave a bit to the imagination, preferring to wear a gunnysack, all of these ladies are spread with the icing of sex appeal from head to toe. You won’t find a tastier group of women in the television universe. Without further ado, here are the ladies that light up our lives.

1. Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives) – Eva is ridiculously hot. As Gabrielle, she is the ‘it’ girl of Wisteria Lane, sporting around in her sleek Maserati and porking the barely legal lawn boy. Her conniving, spoiled, bad girl ways make this over-the-top melodrama a compelling watch — even for a guy. Guys actually saddle beside the girlfriend every week in hopes Eva will show as much skin as is possible on family-friendly network TV. This girl’s got more curves than a Formula 1 racetrack with an attitude and spunk to make a nun blush, or froth at the mouth as Carlos is finding out.

2. Evangeline Lilly (Lost) – So let me get this straight. Some random flight crashes on a deserted island, leaving you with Ana Lucia, Shannon and Kate. I’m sorry, but no man is lucky enough to share a sand cot with one of these beauties much less all three. So what makes relative unknown Evangeline my top choice for girl to explore the jungle with? Kate has that veil of mystery about her. The shady bad girl past no one saw coming, packaged with that body of a thousand crunches. Her tomboy playfulness completely disarms you. Her sullen glances don’t ever allow you to get too close. She doesn’t quite know how beautiful she is, or the power she wields, which is the sexiest trait of all. She’s dating a hobbit for goodness sake. Will she hook up with the Party of Five doc or the rouge bad boy? As long as she keeps stripping down to bath in the surf, who cares?

3. Jennifer Garner (Alias) – So I see that perplexed expression creeping across your face. How is Jenny the number 1 hottest woman in film yet a paltry number 3 in her own backyard of television? Couple pregnancy and Alias running itself into the ground week after week for the slippage of Jennifer. Since Alias is officially about to be no more, she’s quickly gearing up to exit the television universe, cashing in on her action star power on the big screen. She’s still babelicious, but her utter lusciousness is bogged down by questionable career prospects (Daredevil and Elektra anyone?), the hubbie who is so annoying I’ve heard the duck is trying to change his catchphrase (“Af-Loser!”), and how her new role as mom will factor into the mix.

4. Kelly Carlson (Nip/Tuck) – So you thought the Carver rubbed out poor, alter fleeing Kimber a few weeks ago. Who is to say Kimber isn’t the Carver, and that whole charade was just her multiple personalities duking it out? While it’s a pretty safe bet that Kimber isn’t the Carver (look for Quentin or Bobolat to be the man behind the mask), Kimber has floated in and out of the picture on Nip/Tuck ever since Christian traded her for a Lamborghini in the first episode. Ms. Henry will be back because no other female can match up with Christian like Kimber. Carlson is one of the hottest commodities on TV for her delicious lips, finely golden locks and her porn star grit that she packs in her personality. In a show that centers around churning out perfection, Carlson stands as the pinnacle other woman are reaching for. She’s shown a little wear on her looks this season, but she’s still one of the most tantalizing women on the screen. Kimber will be back, mark my words.

5. Kristin Kreuk (Smallville) – It takes quite a hottie to steal the attention of the Man of Steel. While Clark is busy trying to control his X-ray vision, Ms. Kreuk is tempting him at every turn as the demure Lana Lang. With Lana being this tempting, we may be seeing comic history being rewritten. I mean could you leave Smallville? As Metropolis beckons, one day Kreuk will be moving on past Smallville. Will she find her way into a role that will really put her on the map? She’s making the most of those good looks as the Neutrogena girl, but I don’t know that acting jobs in dramas that are forgotten before they arrived, like Partition and Earthsea, will exactly buy her the ticket to where she needs to go.

6. Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) – Who will ever forget Teri’s defining moment in Seinfeld history: “They’re real and they’re spectacular.” I concur. Beyond being worthy of being mounted on the front of a ship, Teri has flown around Metropolis, got her valley girl lingo on and even saw time as a Love Boat Musketeer. All her previous successes pale in comparison to her taking on life as the klutzy Susan, who always seems to wind up the most desperate of the housewives. At 41, she’s starting to rack up some serious mileage on the odometer, but she’s one of the few women (see the magnificent Diane Lane) that seem to age like a fine wine not a prune baking out in the sun.

7. Megan Fox (Hope & Faith) – 19-years-old! That’s so wrong for a woman her age to have this much going on. They sure didn’t build them like this when I was 19. Come to think of it, that’s probably for the best since I had a hard enough time getting anything done with what I had to work with. Fox sits just left of the spotlight on chick TV’s Hope & Faith, but she never fails to steal all the attention in any scene she inhabits. Will she leverage this role into a starring gig, or will she disappear as just another smokin’ bod and gorgeous face with devilish eyes?

8. Paris Hilton (The Simple Life) – Ok so she got the short end of the stick the day they were dolling out talent. And yes there is no justifiable reason for her overblown celebrity status. So coming in as my entire fluff pick, no one fits the bill better than Paris. I mean she can even make eating a 1/2 pound, greasy hamburger look sexy, and what other actress, outside of the porn industry, can leverage their camcorder lovin’ into a savvy career move? Paris has gotten where she has because she’s damn hot, and she knows how to squeeze every ounce of it out of her tube of sex appeal. Love her or hate her, you’ve got to give her props for whipping this game like it was her bitch.

9. Portia De Rossi (Arrested Development) – Her character on Arrested Development qualifies as one of life’s greater mysteries. She’s married to the handsomely challenged, gay guy, Tobias. She can’t go an episode without throwing herself at some guy who inevitably steps out of the way, leaving her to fall smack on her face. So she’s the dingy member of the only dysfunctional family to ever get turned down for Jerry Springer. So she past spoiled three lifetimes ago and is an utter wreck for the men in her life. Guys can brush over such trivial details when we’re talking about someone as eye opening as this. Did I mention her affiliation with the lesbian party? Every guy knows that just multiplies a woman’s sexiness, imagination running amok with possibilities.

10. Michelle Rodriguez (Lost) – She’s been a boxer (Girlfight) and a surfer chick (Blue Crush). Now she’s the police officer with more issues than National Geographic, serving as one of the newest discovered castaways on Lost. Rodriguez is the Vin Diesel of women actors. Her muscles are popping out, tattered shirts with grease stains, and she’ll tie you to the bed so she can have her way with you. She always has that sneer plastered on her face as if to say, “I’d lose a lung before I’d date you, but I’ll happily kick your lily livered ass.” Ironically, Anna-Lucia arm-wrestled this spot away from everyone’s favorite college co-ed, Shannon (Maggie Grace), when she capped her in the jungle last month. Ah, now we have motive. Do you still think it was an accident?

Courtesy: http://www.pmmediareview.com

One Trackback

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